Parents be cray…and rightfully so.
So real talk.
For this parent, me….some things totally suck.
….and some things don’t and only feel like they suck. I mean, it’s one thing to hear about this, that, or the other…and a whole other thing to not be able to *do*anything about it. And not only does it suck, but it’s SCARY AF when it comes to my kid (bless you parents with multiple kids)… it’s not made better when the honest brutal truth is… I don’t know what I don’t know and when I do know and can’t help make it better it doesn’t feel great, it feels like I’m failing my kid, let alone all her friends.
What I do know—if I’m being really honest with myself—is what I can affect, the decisions that I can make, the conversations and confrontations that I can make happen; and being realistic with myself about the likelihood of success.
One example is with teacher turnover; I can’t control what the leadership does or what the teacher decides—but I can make sure that they feel supported by *this* parent.
Truth is, if a teacher decides they’re gonna leave, they gon’ peace out. But I’m going to work for making sure that their reason won’t be because they don’t feel supported. And I’m not going to do it for the reason of keeping them there, I’m going to do it because they deserve it.
[[insert 5 more pages of my thoughts about teacher turnover here]]
When it comes to the communications, hear me…I’m not defending the leadership—mistakes have definitely been made—but as true as it is that I don’t know what I don’t know; same with the administration.
Yes, their job is to communicate and put together procedures and strategies for communicating and yes, their job is to deal with parents—but come on… *I* wouldn’t pay me to deal with me,
I’m a handful.
They are hopefully working on it and I do believe that our feedback *and* proposed solutions can and should be considered—and ultimately lead to a better outcome.
That said, having worked with students (in a previous role/job/life) I totally understand that there are privacy things to consider; that just means they’ve got to work on a specific outlet for both assuring parents and protecting privacy.
Physical safety comes first, but part of their safety procedures should probably be adjusted.
Our job is to help our kids (btw, i think we’ve handled a bunch of the non-comm stuff pretty well) and rightfully get frustrated afterward; some of y’all are my true heroes for having enough energy after working your kids through it all, then some.
While I can be tempted to move this up and gather a huge army of parents (the largest in middle earth), I can also be realistic in saying I don’t have time for that (or mental/emotional energy). But what also keeps me in check is realizing, yes, I can go to the larger Pinecrest body…
…but reality check—I don’t want some corporate rando making decisions about my kids, I mean…
WTF do they know about my kid?
I think they should be informed, but I definitely would keep it at that.
The administration don’t know what they don’t know, but that’s also an area where I know I can be a part of the solution. It’s their job to try out solutions, communicate, and etc. As for me, I don’t necessarily think it’s my job to “oh, just give it a chance” but I DO think it’s my job to contribute what I can, think critically, and prepare feedback—and pick my battles, kinda for strategy’s sake, but also back to not having the time/energy.
It may be ramblings, but it helped me to level out and figure out a solution that works for my family (and my sanity). If it helps you, fantastic. If something needs more conversation (duh), let’s have those conversations…but let’s make sure they’re conversations, I know that if I only go into a conversation with my points, I don’t know what I don’t know, they don’t know what they don’t know, and it’ll stay that way.
Some solutions I’ve thought about:
I’m going to start asking myself a few questions:
What don’t I know that I think I should?
Who can I ask (and do they really know)?
How can I increase my chances of being heard?
(How much mental/emotional energy and I realistically going to spend here—and is it worth it?)
Scheduling an additional PALs meeting that is organized by parents with concerns (and with an agenda to help the conversation), doesn’t necessarily have to be regular, but I think they should happen. Just so it’s not an info dump like the current PALs meeting.
For *certain* issues, having a unified message to give to administration that can be endorsed by parents who want to endorse it. Example: a letter of concern regarding teacher turnover, drafted, then “signed” by the parents who agree with it and want to be part of that conversation. I think that’ll save some time, energy, and vocal cords.
Even if the school doesn’t put out an outlined comms strategy/plan, I don’t think it’s too much for us parents to put together a plan to propose… or even just one that can be posted for parents to see as a “best practices” for new parents or as a way to look up where to go for what.
I’ll also offer this:
🎶I’m just a dad…standing in front of a school, asking them to… 🎶
jk.
I’m just a guy, I get being frustrated, annoyed AF, having to deal with my overhyped kid, and sometimes it can feel weird and/or lonely because I have thoughts and I don’t know if I’m crazy or not (real talk… probably, but whatever). So if you ever feel that way, or if you feel like talking to the school is like screaming into the void, or if you are about say “come at me bro”. Let’s talk. Feel free to DM me, email me, or text me. We may be headless chickens sometimes, but doesn’t mean we can’t be a flock of them.